Dear 20 year old me,
It's me, your 30 year old self. Well, let me start by saying, you will make it past 21, even though you thought you wouldn't. I would like to warn you, Things are about to get tough. Car accident, brain damage, depression, divorce, struggles that your average 20 something shouldn't have to go through, but you will. Just trust your gut and don't let the people around you tell you what to do. God has given you a great ability to discern His voice in guiding you, and even though in the beginning you will ignore His voice and do what is easier, trust Him, He won't steer you wrong.
You are going to have some dark days, days where you feel incredibly alone, abandoned and forgotten. But God sees you, He is with you & is working big things for your life! I know right now you think things are good, but that little voice you hear, telling you that there are better things ahead is right. But you're not going to listen, you're going to go against your gut and you will fall flat on your face. Divorce is really hard, disappointing your family is really hard, but you will get through this.
God has created a man specifically for you. He will love you, support you in your wild dreams, raise children with you, mourn with you, and encourage you all along the way. He will love you unconditionally and do everything he can to make you happy. Just be patient.
Also, don't sweat the small things. Don't obsess about the opinions or approval of outsiders. They don't matter. Their opinion means nothing, trust your gut and seek the approval of the Lord. The things of this world are trivial and fleeting, but the Kingdom of God is forever!
Also, don't stress about having kids. I know later on, you will cry at night thinking that you will never have children after months of trying to conceive, but I promise you, babies will come. And they will take your breath away with how beautiful and perfect they are. Motherhood is even better than you will ever imagine. It's hard as heck, but you will figure it all out. God will definitely step in and help you navigate the rough seas, you'll second guess yourself, cry and be convinced that you are failing miserably, but I promise, you'll be amazing! Don't give up.
Most importantly, relax. Don't take yourself too seriously. Laundry will get folded, plans will fall through or change, you will be disappointed, you will struggle, but you will also experience so much joy. Your faith will increase ten fold, and God will slowly reveal His plans for your life day by day and all will be good. You will experience a new level of trust and faith that you never knew was imaginable! God is so Good and will bring so many wonderful people into your life, and just as easily, He will fade out people that are no longer necessary for your journey. Don't be fearful of change, embrace it with open arms. It's scary and frustrating but oh so necessary!
Now, Just put down the phone, go out and LIVE!
