It started late one night, I woke up in extreme pain, telling Ryan I couldn’t breathe while clutching my right side. Being six months pregnant with my first baby, I was very confused about what it would feel like to go into labor, but I had a pretty good feeling, this wasn’t it. I called the on-call nurse and she told me I needed to go straight to the hospital to be monitored.

After a 30 min drive to the hospital, an hour of monitoring, and being told “You’re not going into labor, the baby is fine. Drink water & Try to rest.” And I was sent home with no answers. This happened five more times, each time with no answers. Flash forward to after I gave birth to Jonathan, and I was up late one night breastfeeding. That intense pain came over me again & I could barely even function. Before I would get some relief by taking a hot shower and letting the water beat on my back, so I handed the baby off to Ryan and jumped in the shower. I was laying on the floor of the shower crying and praying when it was almost like someone said it clear as day “look up gallbladder attack symptoms".

DING DING DING. We have a winner folks. I called my doctor in the morning and she scheduled me for an ultrasound of my gallbladder. And I wasn’t surprised when they told me it was full of gallstones and that they would recommend removing it. “There are RARELY complications with this surgery, so you should be able to resume normal life after this.” the surgeon told me after surgery, and so I did. I went back to eating all the same stuff I was eating before… lots of greasy food, soda, ice cream, sugar, heavy food and spent the next year and a half popping imodium, gasX, lactaid and the last straw being prescribed Zantac.

Is your stomach hurting yet? I was haphazardly diagnosed with “dumping syndrome” or “Possibly IBS” but there is no definite answer, and then prescribed a daily zantac. I don’t fault my doctor for giving me a prescription in order to fix my problems, because it seems like that is what MOST people these days are looking for. They don’t want to dig deeper and find the root of the problem, they would rather take a magic bullet that would quickly make them feel better. But all the Zantac did for me was (To put it delicately) give me constipation, and then I would eat food I knew would send me to the bathroom just to find some relief. Rinse. Repeat.

I was gaining weight at an alarming rate, I was a few pounds away from being the weight I was when I gave birth. I was bloated. My face was puffy. My skin was awful, and the exhaustion was OUT OF THIS WORLD. I knew SOMETHING needed to change, I just didn’t know what. But I knew that taking Zantac wasn’t the solution.

And then I realized something pretty important… and if you take anything away from this, take this… “Just because something is made and is available for you to consume, DOES NOT mean it's actually safe and healthy.”

Don’t get me wrong, I make unhealthy choices all the time, but the frequency in which I was consuming pop (Or soda), candy and other processed foods, was pretty amazing. For me, it started with being mindful about WHAT I was actually eating. I decided that I would start by cutting out ALL POP. Small steps. After a few days without stomach issues, I realized that I was on to something.

The next month, I decided to do a complete detox from gluten, dairy, soy, legumes, alcohol, refined sugars and caffeine. It was tough. Like seriously tough, especially because for a full week of that detox I was out of town staying in a hotel with my almost 2 year old, as Ryan finished out his Master’s degree. But I set myself up for success and found safe snacks and food. After the detox, I added back a few things, but realized just how good I felt and that was something I wanted to hold on to.

Have I stayed completely devoted to a gluten and dairy free diet? Nope. Since that detox, I’ve added two other humans to our family, and those restrictions went out the window as I survived pregnancy, post partum & breastfeeding. But it is something I easily come back to because I know just how much better I feel when I stick to a (mostly) gluten and dairy free lifestyle.

Is this for everyone? Nope. Is this going to fix your own personal stomach issues? Maybe? It’s hard to say THIS is what is wrong, and THIS will fix you, but it has worked for me. And I’m such a huge advocate for doing YOUR OWN RESEARCH. My doctor was giving me a prescription to fix the problem I complained about, but there was a much bigger problem that she couldn’t have know because she wasn’t in my kitchen when I drank another can of coke, or in my car as I stopped for my 2nd mcflurry of the day. She saw a “Thin” person and assumed I ate a well balanced diet, and out of my own shame, I didn’t correct her.

Which leads us to today. I spent all last weekend in sweatpants, feeling uncomfortable, because my stomach felt bloated, my body felt sluggish after a month of enjoying the holiday treats. Here we are in January with another sweets addiction, snacking on anything and everything, not giving my body what it actually needs. (More water and nutrients). But with the crystal clear realization that it’s time to make some better choices. Be an advocate for yourself. I’ve spent the past 365 days doing the best I can to take care of myself but the biggest thing is I don’t feel like I’ve deprived myself of ANYTHING. But more on that another day.

(disclaimer: I am not a certified life coach, dietician, fitness instructor or personal trainer. I’m not telling you that this is the only way to do something, just my personal journey and how I went about it. You have to find what works for you. Also, I know every health journey is different & results will look different for each person. I know my worth is not found in my body.)

There is a certain number on the scale that when I see it, I say, Okay, Enough is enough. There is a certain feeling I get in my body, when I say Enough is ENOUGH. I’m not sure if it’s being an 8 on the Ennegram, but when I want to change something, I figure out what it’s going to take to make the change and I do it.

I’ll talk about this more later, but I have a VERY sensitive stomach. Is it possibly from the years of feeding my body processed sugar and garbage? My pop/soda addiction. That one week I lived off of pixie sticks, Red Bull and Monster? Who knows. But I know this, I had my gallbladder removed in 2014 and its been a crazy learning experience to figure out what will and will not send me STRAIGHT to the bathroom. (yeah I went there).

Flash forward to January 2020. I was so motivated by the NEW DECADE, but I kept telling myself that I need to breastfeed (pump) for a full year, and I still had 6 months to go. I was sooo worried about not consuming enough calories, I was afraid that workouts would affect my supply, believe me, I had a MILLION excuses. It only took 12 days into the new year for me to say “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”.

Before I found out I was pregnant with Vivienne, I had just lost 20 lbs, I was in great shape and felt unstoppable! I was so proud of my progress in those short 3 months, that when that pregnancy test said positive, I was scared about what I knew was coming (the pregnancy/ not the baby). If you’ve been around for the past 6 years, you know that pregnancy KICKS. MY. BUTT. in those first 3 months, and I knew it meant I only had maybe a week left before I started feeling all the sickness. With all three pregnancies I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, and lost 10-12 lbs from 6.5 weeks gestation-20 weeks.

Something no one tells you about after you have your third baby is the SERIOUS PHYSICAL TOLL that pregnancy and child birth can have on your body. Holy cow. Diastasis Recti. Weak Pelvic Floor. Pelvic organ Prolapse. (not to mention the toll that sleep deprivation can have on you) After Vivienne was born, I felt SO WEAK. And having her be my third baby, I wanted to soak in every drop of her, but also knew the importance of breastfeeding, so I made sure to keep my calories up by eating my body weight in Double Stuf Oreos, Peanut butter M&Ms & ice cream. “These all make me drink water” is how I justified it to myself.

Cut back to January 12th, I’ve just spent a week feeling like crap, constantly running to the bathroom because sweets do that to me. Everything I ate was making me sick. I was packing on weight like crazy, because most of what I was eating was refined sugars & carbs and my body was storing everything it could. I got on the scale and saw those numbers. I was at my “uncomfortable for me” weight. My clothes didn’t fit anymore, even wearing LEGGINGS was hurting my stomach. I lived in sweatpants and sweatshirts. I wanted to cry.

It was time. So. I grabbed my tape measure & workout journal, swallowed my pride, took some “Before” photos and recorded my measurements.

Don’t stop reading: because this is where it gets hard, because a lot of people will say “Don’t do that to yourself! Your worth is not made up by numbers and measurements” And I 100% Agree with that. These measurements and photos were not meant to shame me, or tell me I wasn’t valuable, but yet, acted as my motivation to see change. It’s easy to get discouraged if you’re basing your progress primarily on a scale, especially if you’re working out. Muscle weighs more than FAT. And I knew these numbers wouldn’t consume me.

How I took My Measurements:

Using a seamstress or fabric tape measure, make sure the tape is laying flat on the surface around each area, and do not pull super tight.

What I recorded:

Left Arm
Right Arm
Bust
Natural Waist
Belly (at the biggest area)
Hips
Left Thigh
Right Thigh
Left Calf
Right Calf

Why I recorded inches: It was amazing to see the inches drop, even if the pounds weren’t. I would take measurements every other week, sometimes I gained an inch, sometimes I lost 4 inches all around, but the process is the Journey.

Next up, I took Before Pictures: One from the front, side & back. And here’s why, obviously you can see a physical change in a photo, but also, you will start to see a difference in posture and confidence. That is something you can’t see on a scale.

Now here’s the most important thing I want to communicate to you. There is no “END RESULT” no “desired pants size” or number on the scale. This was a conscious lifestyle change. I wanted to become someone who ENJOYED the workout. Someone who made fitness a part of her life, not someone who fit it in if I had the time, or because I wanted to punish my body for the choices I made. I actually started to CRAVE the endorphins. I’ve learned that I’m a better mom/wife if I am able to take 30-40 min a day to put in my headphones and do the work.

Today marks 6 whole months. It started slow, with maybe 2-3 workouts a week. Some yoga & spin classes. Now it’s every day I do SOMETHING to move my body. Running, spinning, yoga, strength training.

I’ve lost 10 pounds. Down 30.5 total inches.

I’m going to be honest with you, if all this hard work was only about the pounds, I would have given up months ago. Also, If you’re reading this and saying, you don’t have the time… I’m here to say, you do. I have 3 kids. Put down your phone. That 30 min you could spend scrolling, could be your 30 min.

All that to say, don’t make it about self loathing or shame. Do it for you because you want to love the body you’ve been given. I have cellulite, stretch marks and lots of loose skin, but my body gave me three wonderful babies. I shifted my mindset away from “losing weight” and said Screw Being Skinny, I want to be STRONG. I want my kids to see that when you have something you want to fix, don’t just talk about it, go and do something.

No, I Don't Want Zantac...

When Enough is Enough...

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